Are you like me, frequently late for EVERYTHING? I should say - I used to be late for everything. I'm not 100% cured of my tardiness, but I am getting there. Sometimes, there are legitimate excuses for being late, and sometimes...
A friend once said she doesn't mean to be late and is usually ready to leave home well before her appointment time. She said she gets in trouble because she hates to be early...hates to sit around waiting for her appointment when there are so many things she could be doing elsewhere.
How do we break this terrible habit? And let's face it, it is terrible. We rationalize and give ourselves permission to be late...but it's really not okay.
What can we do to break the cycle? What can we do to alleviate the consequences associated with tardiness? The embarrassment, the shame, the guilt...and the made-up excuses associated with chronic tardiness.
No excuses...remember, I am an expert! I have used a lot of them and played the blame game - my dog, the kids, road construction, slow cars, school bus...you name it. I've felt the anxiety, worry, s.h.a.m.e....
I've researched and tried to be better...but slipped back into old habits over and over again. Luckily, with practice, some of those steps have stuck...and here's what has worked for me (hoping they might work for you too):
1) The earlier, the better - I find if I schedule important appointments early in the day, I stand a better chance of getting there on time. The later the appointment, the greater chance of being distracted. It's difficult for me to stop while in the middle of an activity to prepare for something that's not for another 2 hours. Unfortunately, 2 becomes 1 and then I have minutes to prepare, and BAM - late for appointment - "but we lost power and I couldn't get out of the garage!" (See how good I've become?)
1) 15 minutes - enter the start time in your calendar as 15 minutes before the actual time of your appointment. Some say - "but I'll know that I have 15 minutes to spare and still be late." This really works for me because appointments are made so far ahead these days. By the time the appointment rolls around, it's difficult to actually remember if you put the additional 15 minutes in your calendar. It's all about tricking the mind! Try not to pay close attention to the time when the office calls to remind you of the appointment.
2) 2 hours - begin to prepare 2 hours before the appointment. If it is at 10am, get in the shower by 8am, and don't do anything else but prepare from that time until you leave the house.
3) Mobile calendar - there is an app for that! I use a smart phone and have the ability to enter the location of my appointment and set reminders for each event. With the location setting, a reminder pops up to tell me what traffic is like and how much time it will take for me to reach the destination.
5) Less is More - it is tempting to cluster everything on your day off, and if you are always early or timely, that may be okay. If you are chronically late, probably not. We are bound to get behind..."I have a few minutes...I'll stop by for some groceries." It's a disaster waiting to happen. Better to schedule 1 or 2 appointments and THEN run a few time flexible errands.
6) Keep a "busy bag" - similar to those bags or boxes we have for our children filled with books, craft supplies, etc. Use your purse, if big enough, or dedicated bag and THE NIGHT BEFORE your appointment, put in a magazine, craft items or a book. Your smart phone may be used as your busy bag but be sure to keep a charger in your purse or car just in case and download some apps to help you pass the time.
I've been wrestling with being late most of my adult life. I do not agree with "the experts" that chronic tardiness shows the individual has a lack of respect for other people and their time. Even so, I've been on the receiving end, and have felt the frustration.
One theory I came across while researching, that I do agree with, has to do with low self-esteem. It states that the individual does not believe their presence matters and therefore does not hold being on time in high regard. I can see this being the case in social situations more so than in professional situations. If anything, the individual believes the time of others is far more important than their own time and they will not be missed or noticed if they show up late.
What do you think?
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And as always - I wish you a great day!
Kelli
Further reading:
How to avoid being late: Wiki How
How to stop being late: Huffington Post
Tips to avoid being late for work
2 comments:
I try to always be on time but don't always manage it. I carry a book with me so I can pass the time if needed. But, my sister was chronically late for everything - she just couldn't seem to get it together. When she passed away we started her funeral late - we thought it was a fitting tribute.
The late start was a fitting send off, I’m sure the humor helped lighten the day just a little and her spirit gave a little chuckle too.
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