STUFF.

Wow – try looking up the definition of “stuff” in the Merriam Webster dictionary. There are 9 noun entries with a’s, b’s, etc. under each of those. Just as many entries for the verb form.

Too many to list, too much to have…”stuff” is just, well, STUFF.

Here come the five Ws and one H from my journalism days.

Who is responsible for accumulating all of that STUFF? I am, you are, WE ALL ARE!

Why do we accumulate STUFF? We like it. We want it. We need it.

What do we do with all of that STUFF? We use it! We store it. We display it. We hide it. We eat it. We wear it. We plant it.

Where do we put all of that STUFF? In our homes. On our walls and surfaces. On our bodies. In the ground. Under our beds. In our basements, garages and attics. In our closets, drawers. In our cars!

When do we purchase or obtain STUFF? ANYTIME! When we need it. When we are sad. As a treat. When we are happy. ANYTIME!

How do we obtain STUFF? We buy it. We pick it up on the side of the road, from the trash, from our roommate or family member’s closet!

A few years ago, we were flying to visit our daughter in Japan and I grabbed a few books and magazines for the long 16 hour trip. As I was getting up to leave the flight, and gathering my books from the seat pocket, an older man who was sitting next to me asked,  “Do you feel like you’ve been helped?” I looked at him quizzically and he said, “You have all of those self-help books” and pointed to my bag.

I looked into my bag and realized I brought 3 large self-help books along for the ride. It took a stranger to make me see that I was accumulating STUFF in the form of these books. And the reason…because I thought there was something wrong with me! I was feeling sad and a bit of a failure as a mom, a wife, a person.  Reading them didn’t make me feel like a better person, I felt overwhelmed that I WASN’T feeling like a better person. There were so many ways and bits of advice and 10, 20, 30 things that I could do to improve my life! I had accumulated STUFF, in the form of self-help books to attempt to plug a hole and find the answer to why I was feeling sad. The titles were something like: How to live a more purposeful life, be a better wife, simplify and get rid of the extra STUFF.

I can chuckle now…not because I am feeling silly, but because in looking for ways to explain why I wasn’t feeling myself…I was making myself feel worse, and complicating my life even more by trying to uncomplicate my life! Do you get it?

I’m not implying that self-help books are detrimental…but like all STUFF, they can be detrimental if they begin to take over our life and become more of a problem than a solution.  STUFF… in the form of shoes, clothing, art, craft supplies, yarn, tools, plants, BOOKS!

It turns out I was having a bit of an “in the middle” life crisis and was looking for rational reasons as to why I was feeling so low. In reality, my feelings were pretty normal.  My children were both grown and leaving home, my husband was talking about retirement, we were making plans to sell our home of 20 years and move to who knows where. I was feeling LOST, selfish and unsupported, and a bit empty. I needed HELP. 

I chose books, because that’s what the books advised! What was the solution? I kept one of the books that I felt really helped with my situation and got rid of the other two (and dozen more I had on my bookshelf at home!). I am sure each of those could apply to someone else’s situation, so I donated them to a local book shop.

So WHAT’s THE POINT, you ask? I have been seeing a lot of blog posts, articles and yes, BOOKS, touting the benefits of living simply, mindfulness, living in the moment, and getting rid of all of your  STUFF.

What I don’t see is...that STUFF represents something about us, maybe something that we need to address. No matter how much material STUFF we donate or throw away, how many books we read or classes we attend, the reason we accumulated certain STUFF in the first place remains.

I happen to like accumulating STUFF. I am not an expert, but my STUFF is not TAKING OVER my life or putting us in the poor house. Maybe certain STUFF helps make us happier AND fills a void in our life. I use yarn to make gifts for others, plants to beautify the earth, decorative boxes to...hide more stuff 😐. I’m OK if my children do not want my collection of yarn or craft supplies. It makes me happy.

I like buying STUFF at yard sales and consignment shops. I refinish or any of the other REs and keep it or give it away.

I take inventory of myself a lot, and if I am feeling down or sad or empty, I tell someone (GOD and usually my husband, in that order) and we figure out what is happening. And yes, sometimes I buy myself a new candle, or pair of socks, or pretty plant.

So simplify, be purposeful, be mindful, get rid of the baggage, but be careful when getting rid of your STUFF. Take inventory of what’s going on inside of YOU, and make sure you are OK before getting rid of the STUFF that might be plugging the hole.

Kelli