Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Stop negativity where it starts - with ME!



I'm reposting from Marc and Angel Hack's blog, Practical Tips for Productive Living, because today's article sings to me - especially with summer vacation winding down.

Our son is whining that there are only three weeks left to his summer - our daughter is worried that she doesn't have enough stuff packed for college next week and I - I am anxious that I can't find a "real" job. Well...not that I'm actually trying.

Ten years ago, I never thought I would say, "I like doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning and running the kids to their activities." Even with our daughter driving, I am still accompanying her to a lot of stuff! Yesterday we spent more than 4 hours at a medical appointment - what working parent could have pulled that off without using a vacation/personal or sick day?

Our home is my office and although I love being a nurse and taking care of others, right now its time to take care of Home. It's not easy being "in the middle" of all this negativity! Marc and Angel say it best:

There are 10 ways to defend yourself against negativity:

1) Don’t take other people’s negativity personally.  Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with.  What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own attitude.

2) Spend more time with positive people.  You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you eventually become. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you, people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

3) Be the positivity you want to see in the world.  Lead by example.  You can’t always save the world, but you can make the world a better place by practicing what you preach – by becoming self-aware.

4) Change the way you think.  The one thing nobody can take away from you is the way you choose to respond to what others say and do. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would never think another negative thought again.

5) Focus on solutions.  Negative people have an endless supply of pity party invitations.  Don’t RSVP.  Don’t dwell too much on what went wrong.  Instead, focus on the next positive step.  Spend your energy on moving forward toward a positive resolution.

6) Love whoever is around to be loved.  Practice acts of kindness.  It’s a lot harder to be negative when you’re in the presence of love and kindness.  Be that presence whenever possible.  Sometimes a kind word and some attention from a friend is all that’s needed to turn a negative attitude around.

7) Provide support when it makes sense.  Some people complain as a way of crying for help.  They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as negative complaints rather than requests.  Show some concern.  Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.  Resist the urge to judge or assume.

8) Realize that life is a series of ups and downs.  Acknowledge the negativity, accept it, and let it pass through your consciousness, thereby teaching you a lesson but not ruining your day.  Life is full of highs and lows, but you don’t have to go up and down with them.

9) Concentrate on today.  Too often, we carry around things from our past that hurt us – regrets, shame, anger, pain, etc.  Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  Don’t let these negative points from the past rob your present happiness.  You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future.

10) Let go and move on when you must.  If all else fails, remove yourself from the wrong situations and relationships. Some people are like dark clouds; when they disappear, it’s a brighter day.  Know when it’s time to let go.  Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean you hate them, it just means that you care about your own well-being.  Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive.

Thank you Angel!

***for the full posting, go to http://www.marcandangel.com/***

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